Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Worst Bad Days

In 2016 I thought that I had the worst of bad days when I was going through this rough patch diagnosed as severe rapid cycling bi polar with psychosis post-hysterectomy.  How could that be what’s “wrong” with me? I don’t have mental illness. “I’m fine”. It was the worst of bad days.  Followed by many, many… Continue reading Worst Bad Days

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Keep Going

I often feel like my boot is stuck in the mud. I can’t seem to wiggle it free so I stand there. I usually start to cry. I know I can step out of my boot and be free, muddy but free, but I want my boot, both of them and I want to be… Continue reading Keep Going

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery

I am not ready…

I am not ready. Not ready for a slew of things. Whether it’s getting up, showered, and dressed (good ole depression) or heading into work sitting in traffic and actually working. I am not ready to get older or for my kids to grow up (more). Im not ready to have relationships change even for… Continue reading I am not ready…

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

A broken arm

Photo by ThisIsEngineering on Pexels.com Let’s say I was roller blading (which anyone my age should NOT do) and I fell.  I ran into a trashcan and I flipped and landed on my arm.  It snapped, just like a wishbone. Should this have happened I would go to the hospital and I would get it… Continue reading A broken arm

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

SittingWaiting LookingAnticipating  The anxiety that ensues when you are waiting to see a doctor. A new doctor mind you. A proclaimed expert doctor. A doctor that may be able to tell you something new or the same as what you’ve heard before. Time and time again. It’s the wondering. The thinking of who is this person. Do… Continue reading Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery

To Do Lists

What would I do without my to do list?  Whether it is scratched out on a note pad, on a lined legal pad or typed in my phone.  Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com No major surprise but I would be lost, aimlessly wondering, staring at my computer screen blankly. Over the last number of years… Continue reading To Do Lists