I’ve always been the type of person who was either dwelling in the past or making plans for the future. I found it challenging to be in the present. However, the present is the only place where I have the opportunity to control my life.
When it comes to the past, that is unchangeable. I think of events that have happened and spend far too much time wondering if they could have happened differently, like a choose your own adventure book. I have lost count of the number of hours I spend thinking, “If I would have said this, or done that maybe the outcome would have been different.” But, the reality is no matter how much I dwell on the past, I can’t change it. What has happened is done and I can’t do anything about it. I must continue to remind myself that all that has happened in my life up to this point brought me to where I am today and who I am today. If any event happened slightly differently, then I would not be where I am today.
In the same respect, I obsess about what’s going to happen. I come up with these elaborate plans about what I need to do in case something happens in the fast approaching future. The amount of time I have spent thinking about what I am going to do once my son starts driving is insane. What car will he drive? What will I drive? How much of a car payment can I afford? What kind of a car do I want to get? Should I get an SUV? Can I afford an SUV? And he has yet to even get his learner’s permit. And then I jump to what happens when my 12-year-old starts driving, something that’s four years away. What car will she drive? Will I have my current car paid off before I need to buy another one for the second child?
The problem with all of this is I lose sight of what is happening in the here and now. I am so lost in my head that I neglect to notice how the mornings are a bit crisper. That the sun is setting an hour earlier. The way it feels to walk into my front door after a day at the office and to be greeted by my two cats, happy as can be that their mama is home.
But today I had a pleasant morning with my daughter. We were babbling on about a TV show she likes that has invaded her dreams. We were making up all these crazy scenarios about what would happen if actors and actresses from our favorite shows appeared in our house. It was silly, and I laughed a ton. The time went by so slow this morning and I really got to enjoy the time I was spending with her. I know that my time with her is limited as she is getting older and embracing her own independence. So, I treasure the time I do have with her and how we can be silly and carefree.
Because of this morning, I was reminded that I need to live in the present. Letting go of what happened in the past and not dwell on what may happen in the future. Today I am going to embrace today. Enjoy the moments as they happen. Ground myself in the now and enjoy what the day brings me.
#peace #harmony #present #past #teenager #lettinggo