Winter finally arrived, and my family is now wearing heavier jackets out of the house in the morning. Those around me are sporting sweaters and long sleeves, commenting about wintry weather and a chill in their bones. Where I am sitting here waving air under my air pits because I am sweating like a burly, lumberjack of a man on an 120 degree day in the Arizona desert.
The past week has been a little rough. I have been tired, unable to concentrate and not my unusual cheerful self. I’ve been mentally preoccupied and just flat out tired. I have not energy to go to the gym, and I just want to sit home and imbibe with a glass full of fermented grapes. Monday night was a rough night as I was delving into issues of my past and focusing on single trees and ignoring the fact that they were part of a big forest. As a result, I had a super meltdown, comparable of that of a two-year-old who was told to go to bed against their will.
Yesterday morning, while I was suffering from a horrible emotional hangover, it dawned on me that I may be battling more than just typical issues for a 30 something female who has a family, works, is in school, and has trauma in her past. That this is more than Bipolar and the instability of moods… yes, boys and girls, this is MENOPAUSE… that ugly, dirty word, that describes what happens when they take all your lady bits due to their massive temper tantrums also known as Endometriosis and disposes of them in a waste container.
The hormone replacement therapy that I have been receiving for the last year or so, is in the form of pellets that are inserted into the skin of my buttocks and last for a few months. I had my first “recharge” as I like to call it, since my surgery in May a few months back. We do not know how long my body will take to absorb all the hormones (estrogen and testosterone) so we are doing the guess and test technique. So, when Michelle starts having hot flashes and turns into Cruella Deville the night she came to get the puppies, we can gather that she has probably used up her estrogen and needs to have her blood tested to see what the levels are.
Prior to my melt down, and just off the amount that I was sweating, I had my blood work drawn a week ago. I could tell that I was starting to drop and wanted to try and catch it before I plummeted (not so successful, it seems). I followed up with my doctor yesterday, calling to find out if my results were in, and when I could get recharged. I explained that I am losing my mind and really need to get in. They heard my desperate cries and I will be seen on Monday. It’s still a full five days away, but the solution is in sight and I know I can hang on (I think) until my appointment.
Being young, where most of the people my age are having their first child, it is hard to be going through menopause. However, it gives me something more that I have in common with my mom and the older ladies that attend the crafting classes that I take on Tuesday nights.
My advice to the uteruses of the world, hold onto your ovaries for as long as you can! Speak sweet nothings to them and let them know that they are loved and cherished. For those that are warring with your lady bits, really think good and hard over getting your junk ripped out. No period is amazing, but the hair growth, night sweats, snoring, 10-15-pound automatic weight gain in your middle and mood swings, are not for the faint at heart. Peace to you and your uterus.
#endometriosis #menopause #hotflashes #bipolardisorder #moodswings #tantrum #uterus #ovary #hysterectomy