This time last year I was preparing to embark on my first backpacking trip. The excitement swelled inside of me. To be out in the wilderness for a weekend, carrying only what I needed on my back was something new to me and it was adventurous. And this made it something that I really wanted to do.
The trip was a success, minus us forgetting bug spray and a deck of cards. I slept in a small tent, with a thin mat separating me from the brown, dusty, cool earth. We sat around a fire pit eating a dehydrated meal from a pouch, it was delicious. When we consumed all our water, we went to the nearby body of water and filtered our own water, yes you read that correctly, we filtered pond water and drank it. I was in pure heaven. Every moment that I was in this oasis I was soaking in all that my eyes and ears were experiencing.
Sadly, upon arriving home, I had a horrific, yet recognizable pain in my lower right abdomen, and within less than two weeks I was having my, um I think 7th, surgery to remove an endometriosis mass. So, the whole having surgery was less than desirable, but the thing that I was so upset about was having to cancel our couple’s retreat to Zion National Park in Utah that was supposed to happen the second weekend in May. To say I was pissed, was an understatement.
Today, I sit impatiently waiting for the afternoon hours to roll by, so I can leave work and begin running my errands. Errands for what you ask? Well, it is finally time for another backpacking trip, and I think that I have more excitement today than I did this time last year. I know what to expect now, and this adds a greater level of anticipation and less stress and anxiety. We have additional gear that we were lacking last year, and it will better prepare us for an enjoyable weekend away (including bug spray).
The biggest thing that differentiates this year from last year is where I am with the Bi polar. I am stable, stable. Like pyramid constructed by Egyptians thousands of years ago that are still standing, strong. So, when you add in that I am in decent shape (not hiking as much this year vs. last year because of working more hours and being in school) and that I am mentally in the best place than I think I have ever been, this makes a tremendous combination. Never-the-less, I do still have bruised toes and a large blister on the foot from the last few weekend adventures that I have undertaken, I am incredibly ancy for tomorrow to roll around, so I can start my Earth Day Adventure filled weekend.
To make this trip even more special, we are going for two nights. And this girl right here, has never camped for two nights in a tent. My hair is bound to get greasy and I know I will get sweaty (gotta love those menopause symptoms), but you know what, who cares? There will be no makeup, no belt that accessorizes my outfit or shoes that increase the perception of my height. I will have hat hair, from my handy dandy new wide brimmed, sun protecting cap. I’ll likely be a hot mess.
April has been a month of adventures for me. A twelve mile hike a few weeks back and swimming in my skibbies and now a weekend away in the mountains with only the bare necessities. I am thrilled with where I am. I feel accomplished. I am so happy that I have listened to my doctors and that I have been fighting through the weight gain side effects, while continuing to take my medication as prescribed regardless. I want to share with others that suffer with Bi polar that stability is possible, but yes it can take time to achieve it. With all that I have been through, I now feel that I have a greater appreciation for what I experience in my life, that there are so very many gifts that we receive during each day of our lives. That each day is filled with so many positives, should we just take the time to identify what they are and appreciate them. Blessings to you and may you have peace that fills you.