Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Sunday Funday

I received a gentle nudge on my exposed shoulder.  It seemed like I had just fallen asleep, so this must be a dream.  But alas, it was not.  It was precisely 6:06 AM and it was time to rise and shine.  Not being a morning person, the six o’clock hour does not usually come with much welcome from yours truly.  But, today was not a normal Sunday, it was set out to be a Sunday Funday, a day of kayaking on the lake.  With the temps rising to the near triple digits it was imperative that we were on the lake early.  And, getting on the lake early, meant less motorized boats and therefore a more tranquil time, which means much more enjoyable.

man holding cup near table
Photo by on

I slowly walked towards the kitchen, I am sure I resembled a zombie.  My beloved had started the coffee and I heard the beautiful sound of it being brewed.  Immediately after the beep sounded notifying that the coffee was ready, my love brought me a cup brimming with hot coffee.  I slowly came to life as I sipped the coffee, feeling it warm me from the inside out and bringing energy to my limbs.  Shortly following the consumption of my first cup, I had my breakfast, gluten free chocolate chip waffles.

fashion man person beach
Photo by Stokpic on

To prepare for the kayaking trip means that I needed to wear a bathing suit.  This posed a challenge as I do not have the most confidence in my body shape at this point and time.  I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself that I was beautiful.  That my body was fine just the way that it was and that it did not matter what I looked like.  On went the swim shirt to provide protection from the sun over the swim suit and a pair of water resistant shorts.  Water sandals adorned my feet and I grabbed my super awesome, super sun protecting hat and I was ready.  Need I forget the sunblock, I grabbed that on our way out the door.

action boat canoe clouds
Photo by Roman Pohorecki on

An hour later we were at the lake.  Surrounded by people with speed boats had me concerned, but once we got into the water, we were segregated from the areas where the larger boats were cruising and we made our way across the lake.  The water was cool, but not frigid.  As I paddled, the refreshing water trickled down onto the tops of my sunblock lathered legs.  Each time I put the paddle in the water, I propelled a little bit further in the water.   It did not take very long for me to get into my groove and I was swiftly working my way across the surface of the lake.  I took in my surroundings.  Canyon walls that had various desert plants sporadically growing from here and there.  We approached one area and there was “America” spray painted on the rock surface.  Along with the vandalism was an array of plastic and Styrofoam cups littering the brown, dirt covered earth.  It hurt my heart that others would have so little respect for the earth.  Whatever happened to the rule of leaving no trace?

We found a beach where we docked our boats.  We enjoyed snacks and refreshments while chit chatting and swimming.  The water was not as clear as it could’ve been, due to gasoline from the motor boats and dead bait fish, but we made the best of it.  I had a companion, a sweet second grader who sat on my lap and told me all about school and the adventures that have occurred in her little world.  I was lost in her words and thoroughly taking in this special time that I had with my sweet and innocent little friend.

horseshoe bend arizona
Photo by Ghost Presenter on

After a nice respite, we were on our way around the bend.  Taking in more sites of canyons and the vastness of the lake.  I was beginning to get tired.  This was the most I had ever kayaked before and the effects of the depression were trying to pop up and ruin my day.  I politely informed the dark plague that there was no place for her at this event and she was not welcome.

On the voyage back to the shore, we had to traverse a large part of the lake.  I was intimidated and overwhelmed.  I was fatiguing and worried about the various power boats that were on the lake.  Will they actually stop for me?  Will their wake cause me to flip?  Do I have the energy to make it all the way to the shore that is so far away that it is a blur to my eyes?

I reminded myself that much like other areas of my life I will keep pushing myself to make it to where I need to go.  I put my paddle in the water and I gave it my all.  I had to stop more than a few times, but just for a few moments to give my hands a break.  When I made it to shore, I was relived and proud.  I did it!  I kayaked just shy of 3.5 miles, and I enjoyed it.  This was indeed a Sunday funday.

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