Although today has not been the best of days… I overslept, my outfit is not the most flattering thing that I have ever worn, I forgot my makeup and my hair is dirty, I am challenging myself to find the good that still is happening in my life on this given day.
My boy cat, Hunter Mahoney, decided that he was going to dig in the bathroom trashcan and take out the bag that used to hold the bottle of one of my medications. The bag was empty, but he felt the need to retrieve it out of the trash and leave it at the entry way to the shower for me. He was very proud of his accomplishment and when I thanked him for the gift, he went right back into the trash to see what else he could find. I am not sure why he chose to provide me this gift, but it did remind me to take my medication, and for that I am very grateful. And you know, it made me smile.
Crying on the phone to my mother, she, being the overflowing bottle of joy and happiness that is my mother, suggested, in her best pirate voice, that I needed to pull myself up by my bootstraps and hunt for my buried treasure. She shared that maybe under each one of the “X’s” won’t be the buried treasure I was looking for, but I need to keep looking, because I will find it. I am not sure if you have ever found yourself with eyes full of tears and then having the person on the other end of the phone break out in a really good pirate voice, but you can’t help but to laugh and smile. My mother is amazing and I am blessed that I have her and how she knows what to do when I need a pick me up.
Although my doctor tends to tell me things I don’t want to hear, like today that I am in another mixed episode, I feel like she is a partner in my journey and my healing and I am thankful to have her in my life. I love that I can prattle on about this and that and she is able to put the pieces together and asks me questions that guide me to the answer that needs to be discovered. She is kind and gentle, and her care and concern seems to be loving in a very professional way. I used to hate going to my appointments with her and I would look to her like an enemy, and when I stepped back and realized that she was my partner, that’s when everything started to jive and I found myself spending more time in recovery than in active turmoil.
I do not know what will happen when I arrive home from work. I do know that I have a number of things that need to happen in order to meet commitments that I have made. But I do know that I will continue to work on my mindset and focus on the positive and the good rather than focusing on it being a “bad” day. When asked by my kids how my day was, I plan to let them know what I have stated above, that it started off as a struggle, but that I worked to change my mindset and with the change I was able to change what could have been a bad day, back into a good day.