It is the beginning of a new week and I am determined that this will be a good week. After several weeks of dealing with the ups and downs that are the definition of bipolar disorder, I am ready to be in a stable place. And to be honest, I am not quite there yet. I still have some lingering depression that is acting like a lone grey cloud that is just not ready to leave my nearly clear, blue skies.
I am tired and worn out from a rough few weeks. The amount of energy that I have when manic is intense and I usually run myself around in circles trying to use up the restlessness that takes over my body. When the mania finally lifts and I start to float back to earth, the depression starts to grab at my feet and pulls me to the earth’s surface faster and more aggressively than I would care to arrive.
As I prepare for another therapy session tomorrow, I am reflecting on what the last few weeks have taught me. I have learned that I am now better able to identify my moods before they get too far out of control. I also found that I am better able to vocalize how I am feeling to my doctors so they are better able to help me find stability. Although I have been seeing my doctors for more than two years, I discovered how trustworthy they are and how they are oh so supportive of me, my health and recovery. I also found that they go out of their way to make time for me. I have never felt as supported as I feel today as result of the care that I have received over the last few weeks. I am incredibly appreciative for the people that I have in my life.
I really have no idea what this week will bring. I don’t know what mood I’ll be when I go to bed tonight or when I wake up in the morning. But I do know I will get through it. And when the times get really tough, I know I have a support network that will be there to help me, and that is what gets me through each day.
All the best for a blessed week,