Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Three Years Ago Today


A memory popped up on my facebook feed of an evening I spent with friends from three years ago.  It was one of those canvas painting nights.  We went out to eat burgers prior to the event and then spent several hours painting and of course laughing, lots of laughing.  It was a simply enjoyable evening.

I recall it being an amazing night as I was spending time with friends I had not seen in a while.  One friend was traveling from the east coast and another friend had found employment at another company and I had not seen her in a bit as result.  I had two woman who were mentors to me, friends, but also motherly, and they were exactly what I needed at that period in my life.

It was at this time, three years ago, that I was going through the mental breakdown of 2016, and I was waiting to be seen by the psychiatrist who I was scheduled to see the following week.  A night out with friends was a distraction that was needed.  To be with friends, who could provide me with their friendship, love and care, was what I was greatly in need of.

Today, seeing this memory brought to my mind how much has happened over the last three years.  How many ups and downs, how many trips to the various doctors, how many tears.  But, there have been so many triumphs, victories, so much joy, and happiness.  Three years seems like such a long time, but such a short time all at the same time.  I feel like the time has passed by slowly and quickly, all depending on how I look at it.

I was speaking with my co-workers today and we were talking about how the last month has been for me.  I have been up and down.  Exhausted and then operating at a normal capacity.  I have recently been in a good place.  On a path where I am making small, yet consistent strides, in a positive direction.  And this feels amazing.  I remember what it was like three years ago, actually I remember vividly.  I had to be in that place, that dark place, in order to be in this current place of light and brightness.

Currently I am still working on a number of things.  I have some issues that keep tripping me up and much like the definition of insanity states, I keep turning to them in my times of need, expecting different results.  However, recently, I am working on finding the source of the issues and this has been a game changer.  As we are working on figuring out the source, I have been granted this unique gift that has empowered me to work through these issues that have plagued my life for the last 20 years.

In time things change.  When we analyze what has transpired over a period of time and choose to focus on the positive, we grant ourselves gifts.  The gifts I have received over the last three years is the gifts of: hope, peace, joy and happiness.

What gifts have you received?

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