Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

When You Wake Up Sad

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What do you do, when you wake up sad?

There are so many things that you can do when you start the day feeling like there is a rain cloud that is raining tiny rain drops directly on your head, even though it feels like there is not much that you can do.  This morning, I woke up feeling off, then I realized that I was feeling sad and this was a total bummer to the start of my day.

My alarm went off and I turned it off and turned over in my bed and pulled the covers over my head.  I ignored my big boned cat as he sat on my night stand and mewed in my direction, trying his best to lure me out of bed.  Another alarm went off and I knew that it was time, time to put the feet on the floor.

I had a cup of coffee and chatted with my daughter.  We talked about nothing too important, but the fact is that I interacted with another individual and this is an important thing to do on a morning when you feel sad.  When she left for school, I had breakfast and turned on my therapy light box.  Two more important things to do: eating (always important to add nourishment to our bodies) and the light that is emitted from the box is supposed to help combat depression.

I continued with my routine which included showering and dressing.  I did not dress fancy like I did yesterday but chose to wear a nice pair of jeans with a flowery shirt with bright colors.  I put makeup on to brighten my face and styled my hair.  I feel that on days I feel glum that dressing nicely helps to push away the gloom and helps me to feel more up beat and positive, so this is another way that I worked against the sadness that was plaguing my body.

A morning meeting with my boss helped me to once again interact with another person, a person who knows what I am going through and can and always does provide support.  The meeting also provided a good foundation to the day with structure and tasks that needed to be completed, which is a tremendous help on a day where I am not feeling the most motivated.

A quick coffee delivery to my spouse gave me a feeling of purpose and gave me an excuse to grab a quick hug in the middle of the day which lightened my mood.  And did I mention the coffee, yes, the coffee, a nice little pick me up mid-morning provided a smile in a cup.  The brief conversation with my partner made me feel loved and appreciated and this helped to increase my mood prior to returning to the office.

Heading back to the office, I used my option of dialing a friend and for this call I reached out to my mother.  I knew in advance that she would be free and took that opportunity to reach out to her for support.  We spoke briefly about me but then chatted about a bunch of other things.  Just hearing her voice and having her to speak with helped me to feel better.  She lives so very far away that I don’t get to see her often, so phone calls and face time are the best that I get at this point and I treasure what I have.  Having my mom to chat with further lifted my spirits.

I still feel a little down.  I am frustrated about my hormones, the anxiety medication levels that I am currently on and the anxiety that is still present.  The process in which we are following is not for the faint at heart and the timeline of one to two months for medication (both hormones and anxiety medication) to be fully engaged in my system feels daunting. I am trying to stay positive, but today, well I am struggling.  However, I am working to engage in activities that will help free me from the negativity and the holds of despair through interacting with others, asking for support, staying busy and taking care of my basic needs.

Every day will not be sunshine and rainbows, there will be some down days.  But we can work through some of the items I have listed above, to bring sunshine into those days.

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