At this point in my life, I wear make up nearly every day, except on the weekends unless I am going out for a meal. If I am just running errands on a Saturday or Sunday, I usually do not doll myself up. I just go bare faced and let the world see me as I am, pale skin and freckled. But, during the week, I wear, at minimum, eye shadow, blush and mascara. If something fancy is happening, like an event or a meeting, I will drown my pores in foundation to disguise the uneven pigmentation of my skin and to hide the red blotchiness that is my Irishness showing through.
Curious like a cat, as always, I looked up the definition of makeup based on the dictionary’s take on the word. Make up is a noun that is defined as cosmetics such as lipstick or powder applied to the face, used to enhance or alter the appearance.
I find it quite curious that within the definition it contains the terms enhance and alter. I like to think that I personally use makeup to enhance what I have. I personally love, love, love, the green eyes that I have had for nearly my whole life. They are a unique green. A lighter shade, with a darker ring around the outside. They are vibrant when I wear anything with green in the threads. And should I wear a shade of purple eye shadow my emeralds just glisten and shine. They are by far my favorite characteristic and something that I am quite proud of. I feel like they add to my uniqueness and I do what I can to help them stand out.
In similar ways in life, I try not to hide what I have been given. I try to enhance. As result of genetics and Bipolar medications that cause weight gain, I have some lovely lady lumps as Fergy refers to them, and I could try to alter what I have, but that did not work out for me, so I have chosen to enhance what I have. And let me tell you, belts are a God send. Have a shirt, add a wide belt with a pair of skinny jeans and a pair of boots and there you go ladies and gents you have a hell of an amazing outfit. Through a fitted blazer with it and a nice blingy necklace and some dangly earrings and this girl feels like a bazillion bucks.
And in a lot of the same ways, I have chosen to speak out and babble about the Bipolar that I have been diagnosed with. This is my choice and how I am working to process the cards that I have been dealt. It helps me to ramble on and about my trials and my successes. I have so much going through my head, so many thoughts and feelings, so many victories, and sadly failures, but being able to share helps me feel like it’s all worth it. This is my way of enhancing my life, rather than altering it. It’s wearing the purple sparkly shadow that helps my eyes dazzle rather than hiding behind a pair of dark sunglasses. Because that’s what works for me.
I chose to enhance. I chose to take what I have been given and make the best of what I have, even though it’s not what I would have chosen had I been given a choice, but I am making the best of it, like my red and pink pigmented kind of dry, kind of oily, starting to age around my eyes, skin. There are days when I have the opportunity to throw some foundation on and alter my appearance, but at the end of the day I wash it all off, and the Bipolar is still there. But you know what else is still there, my green eyes. They look back at me and I smile.