Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Bella’s Babbles: Friday Edition 3/15/2019

balloons calm clouds colorful
Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

The babble for today, the third Friday in March, is a bit more spectacular, not just special, but stupendous, than any other Friday edition of a babble… this may be making you scratch your forehead in confusion, so let me fill you in… are you ready for it, are you sure? Make sure you are sitting down, don’t need you to fall and bonk your head… ok, now that you are sitting down and you are bracing for it, I will tell you… this is officially, the 200th babble blog post for Bella’s Babbles!!!  Release the balloons, call in the dancing monkeys… drop the mic… fan fare please!!! I am beyond excited, can you tell?  This is a pretty big milestone.  And I am in disbelief that I have composed 199 blog posts, and this will be my 200th.  Insanity I tell yah, insanity!

Words do not come to my mind, nor my tongue, let alone my fingers to type, to begin to express my appreciation for those that have chosen to follow this blog.  I started a bit over 1.5 years ago as a way to get all the jumbled-up ness (clinical term) out of my head and onto paper.  And I have thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed this who process and journey.  I look forward to writing each and every blog.  Whether it is a blog a day (or twice a day) or once a week during those rougher weeks.  To have a healthy outlet has been such a Godsend to me and having friends that leave comments and support me adds to the overall, healing, loving, amazing, process.

 

Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation

Yesterday I had a vendor to my office to assist me in setting up my printer, so I was able to scan.  There are days when I think I can perform information technology (IT) services and then there are days when I have my head about me and know that I need to place a phone call and ask for help (pretty symbolic to life in general, me trying to do too many things myself instead of asking for help, but that’s for an entirely different blog post).  The company is amazing, and they have a crew of very intelligent, highly trained individuals that I have come to know well (perhaps I break things frequently).  Today, the gentleman they sent to help me was one that I have come to know well.  As he was setting up my printer we were chatting, and I was catching him up to speed about my projects after his asking.  And that’s when IT happened.  Nothing bad, no worries, but it was a huge compliment that got laid down and I am sure I turned all sorts of shades of red and pink, my inner Irishness showing.  He said that I, get this, reminded him of Leslie Knope, from the show Parks and Recreation.  I know right, what the hell kind of a compliment is that, but simply the biggest compliment a person could be given!  I mean, it’s like a step above being told that you reminded them of Michelle Obama…  I was blown away and totally humbled and honored and of course my day was made.

All day I have been walking with a little bit more pep in my step, feeling a little bit more Leslie like, wishing I was wearing a pants suit, so I could really embrace the she woman spirit that she embodies.  I truly love the connections that I make with people.  It thrills me that I have the chance to interact with so many people and that I can put aside my insecurities and anxieties and be the person that I really am, deep on the inside.

 

This Week’s Reflections

This week I have been challenging myself to knowingly work against the fears that have in the past, and on occasion still in the present, immobilize me.  It’s going to a place I have never been to before.  Running errands not knowing where to go and if there will be off street parking, if the building with be easily accessible and if I will need to interact with anyone.

It also includes going to places that I classify as uber dangerous because of where they land on my germ-o-fob scale but overriding this because someone very important to me is in need and being there to support them is more important.

It’s listening to a loved one speak, not interrupting and allowing them to express what they need to say, because that is what needs to happen.  It is not allowing my anxiety to keep them from what they need to do as they venture into this big wild world, even though it is scaring the shit out of me.  It’s realizing that it’s scaring me more than them, and I need to get myself together and not allow my stress and anxiety to keep them from living, like it is keeping me in hibernation.

 

Over the last 199 blogs I have learned so incredibly much, about things in general, but about myself.  It’s been a journey and I am so blessed to have been on this trip and I look forward to what the next 100 babbles have in store for me and for you.

Thank you for joining me on this adventure, its been fun and I have this strong feeling that it’s just getting started! ~

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