Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

When Motivation Meets Discipline

discipline

I started this blog yesterday, I was motivated, but I got distracted, and my discipline did not kick in and therefore it was not completed, oh the irony…


I don’t recall that I have ever been a real morning person.  I don’t wake up and think, “oh this is a glorious day, let me place my feet on the ground and start this day running!”  I am more the type that slugs their way out of bed and hangs their head over the sink splashing water on my face attempting to wake up and get enough wakedness in me so I can walk down the hallway without colliding with one of my orange felines that are beyond excited that their Mama has finally chosen to unbury herself from her pile of blankets.  How I ever made it to school for the first bell to ring at 7:19 AM for high school back in the day, that is still a mystery to me.

Through much experimenting and thoughtful pondering, I have discovered I am more of a 930 ish/10 am ish to 2 PM maybe 245ish kind of gal.  Those are the hours that I am at my peak, my best, my most active and attentiveness.  I am embracing my most “go get it ness” during those mere 4 -5 hours, and outside those four ish hours I am kind of more like a sloth.  It’s quite an existence that I live.

With that being said, the day consists of more hours that just 10-2pm, and I am involved in activities that far stretch beyond an average of four to five hours, so there must be something else that makes me tick.  What is it that pushes me to get through each day, when I am literally done, both physically and mentally at around 2 PM in the afternoon, and I haven’t really started mentally working until 10 AM, which leaves a good three hours in the morning where I am doing something to get me moving before my internal battery has kicked in.

This is where I figured out that discipline is in place.  In the morning, I know I have a routine that is in place, as I certainly most every day lack motivation to do much of anything outside of sitting in my blue, soft as little baby kittens, robe, sipping coffee, chatting with my friends and family.  There are things that need to take place, in a certain order, so I can be at a particular place at a precise time to do my job.  Mind you, there is some flexibility and I will not receive lashings if I am five minutes late, but I really do try hard to be prompt, for the reason that I believe that a certain amount of respect comes when a person is where they are supposed to be when they say they will be there.

This morning, while sitting in that soft as kittens robe, I was lacking major motivation.  My kids are home on spring break, and they were preparing to make a two-tier cake to commemorate spring, namely St. Patrick’s Day.  All of me wanted to be home with them as it has been forever since I have baked, and this used to be my favorite past time.  I lacked all motivation to get ready to head to work.  And it was at this point that I realized the thing that kicked in was discipline.  The definition of discipline is “the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior.”

On my “off” days and down days I lack motivation (defined as “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something”).  And I fear that I have more days where I lack motivation than those that I do most recently.  I have been noticing that many mornings I lack the motivation that I used to once have.  However, it appears that the discipline that I thought I did not have, is very much so in place and alive and well.  Today it was made very aware that I still do have discipline, and this assists me in a grand capacity.

I have also learned, especially since I have been playing this game of guess and test medication for three years, that I am going to have days where I feel like crap, where I am going to be dealing with horrible side effects and I am not wanting to want to leave my bed.  But this is where the discipline kicks in.  I will lack motivation, but I will have to summon my inner discipline to help me get through the morning to get me out the door and to my work place (as it seems that it’s the mornings that are the hardest for me) and work through the day conquering the tasks that need to be resolved.

I think that it is absurd to think that I will be motivated every day.  I also think that it is outrageous to think that I will have discipline each and every day.  However, with both tools in my tool box, I feel confident that between motivation and discipline, I am more than capable of making it through nearly every single one of my days.

 

photo credit: pinterest.com

 

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