Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

A Babble: Faith and Trust

automobile automotive blurred background car
Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) on Pexels.com

I was driving the other day, much like I do every day and it hit me that I have faith.  I have faith that my brakes are going to work, and that the brakes of the person behind me are going to work.  Being a person who has suffered from major driving anxiety, I am in a much better place now and driving is less of a massively scary event that is thankfully no longer leaving me paralyzed.

Along similar lines, when I enter an intersection, I am trusting that there won’t be any cars that are rushing a light.  That I won’t get T-Boned, that I will be safe.  I trust that my seatbelt will work and that when I accelerate my car will go.

I have been thinking a lot about faith and trust recently and how it majorly impacts my life.  Much like with the examples about my car and related driving, I feel similarly about the medication that I take.  I have faith that when I take the medication that it will work.  I also trust that by attending my psychology and psychiatry appointments that I will remain on the path of wellness.

I am finding that the reintroduction to society after treatment has gone differently than I thought it would.  Not bad in any means, but different.  However, I have faith and trust in the universe that as each day moves forward, I will have the power to make changes that better myself and continue to increase my overall well being.

I believe that it is the ability to have faith and trust in something that allows me to have the outlook that I do.  As well as the perseverance that gets me through each day.  Don’t get me wrong, there are still moments that I want to hide under a blanket and let the storm pass.  But there are more moments when I am able to stop, take a breath, gather my thoughts and then proceed to make decisions that are more productive and overall better for my mental and physical health.

I have been hit with moments when the whole stop, take a breath, gather my thoughts and then proceed has not worked.  Or I interfered in the process and diverted down a different less productive path.  But I am human, and I am not perfect.  My striving to be perfect is something that is my Achilles heal, or so they say.  I have identified that my wanting to be perfect makes me end up losing 95% of the time.  And I am tired of losing, and ready to make changes.

This week I have been making a more conscious effort to be more in control of me, my face and my emotions.  I have worked hard to focus on the faith and trust that I have deep in my heart.  I have found, thus far, that it is actually, much to my surprise, working, and working like a champ.  Focusing on the faith I have in the universe, and trusting all that is in it, especially my ability to be in control of me, has led to an improved overall attitude, regardless of the environmental factors that have been in place.

I am thrilled.  Just simply thrilled with the outcome that I have received.  I didn’t think that this was possible, and sure enough it was!  And for this I am incredibly thankful.

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