Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

The Little Things

silver tabby cat
Photo by Dids on Pexels.com

This morning I sat quietly on the couch sipping coffee.  I sat next to my spouse and we didn’t say a word.  In place of our voices was the sound of birds chirping.  It was a beautiful, harmonious orchestra of sound.  I (for once) did not feel the need to talk, or chatter, babbling away the awkward silence.

During my shower today I noticed that the new shampoo I was using had a scent to it, not bad, nor good, but just a scent.  It also felt like it was bubbling on my scalp, like a little massage.  In a similar fashion, the body wash that I used today took me back to my childhood.  The soap smelled like what I recall from my paternal Grandmother’s home.  This made me smile, and then think of Mommom.  I said a prayer for her, and wished her safety and health.

As I was getting ready, I noticed my cat blocking my walking path heading out of my room.  He is a large cat, but we won’t cite pounds because he’s a little embarrassed.  He was laying down on the ground like a speed bump.  A big orange and white furry speed bump.  I spoke to him and he turned his head and looked up at me.  I asked him to show me his belly and after a few requests he did in fact show me his belly.  I am so filled with gratitude that I had time today to have this interaction with my pet.

Speaking of pets, while I was sitting at my dining table (today is a work from home day) my girl cat was snuggled up on the chair next to me.  It wasn’t long that I heard her snoring.  It was sweet, nasally, but kind of adorable snore.  A good 30 minutes into the snoring, I started hearing this squishy sound.  I looked down at her and she was clearly asleep, and in her sleep, she was suckling.  I wondered what she was dreaming, perhaps dreaming of her mama back when she was a baby kitty.  I was able to be home and able to encounter this experience, wonderful!

Most recently I have started sewing cloth masks for those in need.  I was inspired by my mother as she too is making masks.  When I was ready to metaphorically throw my sewing machine out the window this weekend, she swooped in with her super mom cape and helped me out through a face-time technical support call.  I am so grateful that I have taken the time, and opportunity, to sit still and sew.  It is a gift that keeps giving.

Much is not within my control.  Not being in control is very challenging for me.  I have worked diligently for years trying to be in control of as much as I could.  This turned out to not be very much, but I still tried, even though I ended up failing, and failing a lot.  I can not change what’s happening in the world.  There is so much going on, so much tragedy.  Yet, I can control how I handle it.

I can handle the desire to be in control by listening to the birds in the morning.  By sitting next to my spouse and just being in his presence.  I can allow myself to pay more attention to my pets and how they make my life better.  Using my time and talents for others brings a sense of worth and being into my life.

There’s not much I can do on a global scale, but on the small scale, there is a whole lot that I can do.  I think it falls to perspective. If I focus on the negative, then I will stay down.  When I use my senses to appreciate the gifts that have been hidden due to my inability to literally stop and smell the roses, my life will be made better.

3 thoughts on “The Little Things”

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