I have started three blogs so far today:
One blog consisted of Kacey Musgrave lyrics, another one talked about snakes sloughing off their skin. And the third talked about anxiety being a large dark monster that is engulfing me.
As I keep writing, the words are going everywhere, this way and that way, all zig zaggy.
What is this scatterbrained babbling? To me, it is called mania. Kind of makes life a little challenging at the moment.
For me, it triggers tears to roll down my cheeks, like a faucet. There’s frustration and there is shame. I tell myself; I should have and could have done this or that.
I sit paralyzed all the while I feel like I am vibing within my body wanting to run.
I think that this is the reality for right now. This is the face of mania. Today it is pigtails and a necklace with matching earrings. A flowy top, Skinny jeans and keds. Its puffy eyes, makeup smudges down my face. A stuffy, running nose due to tears. Exhaustion and a headache from the heightened emotions.
A blog that is short with errors: spelling and grammatical errors. Incorrect spaces and the wrong tenses being used.
This is what life is for this moment. It will improve, I just need to be patient. And the important thing I was told when this all started years ago, “trust the process”.