Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Manic Babbles

bracelets
Photo Found on Pinterest

I have started three blogs so far today:

One blog consisted of Kacey Musgrave lyrics, another one talked about snakes sloughing off their skin.  And the third talked about anxiety being a large dark monster that is engulfing me.

As I keep writing, the words are going everywhere, this way and that way, all zig zaggy.

What is this scatterbrained babbling? To me, it is called mania.  Kind of makes life a little challenging at the moment.

For me, it triggers tears to roll down my cheeks, like a faucet.  There’s frustration and there is shame.  I tell myself; I should have and could have done this or that.

I sit paralyzed all the while I feel like I am vibing within my body wanting to run.

I think that this is the reality for right now.  This is the face of mania.  Today it is pigtails and a necklace with matching earrings.  A flowy top, Skinny jeans and keds.  Its puffy eyes, makeup smudges down my face.  A stuffy, running nose due to tears.  Exhaustion and a headache from the heightened emotions.

A blog that is short with errors: spelling and grammatical errors.  Incorrect spaces and the wrong tenses being used.

This is what life is for this moment.  It will improve, I just need to be patient.  And the important thing I was told when this all started years ago, “trust the process”.

2 thoughts on “Manic Babbles”

  1. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with that. Trust the process is valid. I dont have the mania but I understand your pain. You got this, Belle!!
    Love Aunt Anita

    Liked by 1 person

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