Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Day 19: Luau Love

IMG_3713Saturday night I was sitting in a chair at the patio table in our backyard.  I was watching my teenagers sit in the adult inflatable pool that was illuminated by tiki torches.  They were talking and oh were they laughing.  I have no idea what was going on and that is fine, it did not matter.

Sitting there, sipping my virgin pina colada I was taking in what was before me.  My spouse beside me, my kids in front of me, and we all were decked out in luau attire.

It was at that point in time that I realized what life was all about.

For me, it is about those small things.

The night was a special occasion, as we were celebrating my son’s 18th birthday, yup, the big one, and we are under quarantine, so what do you do in a situation like this?

What you do is you make the best of it!  And for us that meant throwing a luau including just the four of us.  To say that it was spectacular would be an understatement.  Amazing food followed by a delicious cake made by my daughter.  A little later scrumptious tropical concoctions followed by pool time as a family.

I tend to get caught up in the “we should” and “they are” and “but…” however, it became so incredibly clear last night those things did not matter.  The thing that mattered most was that my son was happy, and from what I saw and heard, we accomplished that.

I have been learning so much about life.  I have to wonder if this is what your 30’s are all about.  I am learning what is important and what is not.  The quarantine, although challenging and anxiety inducing, has helped me learn more about myself, my family and the need to slow down, just in life in general.  The slowing down has been a God send.

I spend more time stopping, analyzing, thinking, and then proceeding.  I also spend a whole lot more time taking in each moment and making decisions that will better me in the long run.  I am learning that a plain face and more time with family is more important than a dolled-up face.  I learned that the whole slow to anger Bible thing, yeah that is some on point shit.  I now take time to evaluate situations and decide about it’s worth now, in a year and in five years.  Thinking in that way has transformed my life.

So much good is happening, but I do slip back into what I know or what I have learned to be my old narratives.  I have to pull myself up from my bootstraps (Bootstrap Belle) and trudge on.  I have done this in the past and will continue to do it in the future.

Saturday night was transformative.  Not just because it was a huge, monumental birthday for my son, but because the night taught me so much.  The combination of the two will make it very hard to forget what came to me, so strong, almost like the winds of a tornado.

Life is fleeting.  I am learning to treasure every single day, the moments that make the day and the feelings that are brought up in both.

2 thoughts on “Day 19: Luau Love”

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