Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Giving Yourself Credit


gray scale photo of an analog camera
Photo by Wallace Chuck on

There are times when we need to stop and give ourselves credit.  Let me rephrase that, there are times that I need to stop and give myself credit.

I am going to say it, I am doing a hell of an excellent job, as are you.

Often, I find that I set unrealistic expectations for myself and then spiral into a fit of tears when I can not achieve what I set out to take on.

There are few times that I am able to look at myself and say job well done ma’am in an honest and sincere demeanor.  In a similar approach,  there are days that I look in the mirror and I stare at myself and I think, gosh, you are pretty.

Right now is one of those times when I find myself using something my therapist shared with me.  It’s the idea of the wide angle lens.  On a camera you can zoom in and out, or even use a different lens that allows you to take in more of the scene therefore changing and potentially improving your picture.

My therapist often challenges me to use the wide-angle lens.  To think about what the big picture is, and not get so caught up with the trivial things.

For me, the thing I have been caught up on has been this recent medication change.  I gained weight when I was first on its years ago, but I also ate very differently back then.  Big picture or wide-angle lens tells me that things are different this go around.  I am also on other medications which change my body composition.  My diet is far improved, and I have a moderate exercise program.  With all of this, history will not necessarily repeat itself.

An important thing is my mindset change.  I still have some twisted thinking, but I am more accepting of myself, all of me.  Much like there are times when I look in the mirror and see a beauty, and there are even times when I scroll down and go, “hot damn girl, you fine!”

I think that, for me, it is time to give myself credit, credit for all I have accomplished.  Now, then, in 2020 and old school back in 1990 (I made some pretty amazing artwork with my crayons).  Life is no where anywhere close to what I thought it would be.  Not today, not from a year ago, five years ago, etc.…

But what I have learned is that there are gifts in everything.  It is about seeing them and accepting them.  I have chosen to accept my gifts.  Even when my gifts come packaged in a bag of poop.

Let us (me) not forget the strength that lives within us (me).  We are strong.  We are capable and We are resilient.  May you feel a blessed while you embark on your journeys.

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