Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Shedding Tears

beautiful blue eyes close up dhyamis kleber
Photo by Dhyamis Kleber on Pexels.com

Have you had the days when you just cannot keep tears from streaming down your face?  The harder you try, the more tears end up running away from your eyes as if they are being chased by a big, giant, ugly monster with bad breath.

I am having that kind of a week (and it is only Wednesday).  Is it sleep exhaustion, is it stress, anxiety, or constipation possibly?  I mean so many things that could be contributing to the tears.  Oh yeah and the hormone roller coaster ride, that too, those all add up to some nasty bitches.

I am trying to figure out what is going on with me, as I am wiping tears from my eyes hoping that I am not smearing my mascara and looking like a raccoon.  On a separate note, I think I may focus too much attention on my mascara.  Probably because it is pricey and when I cry it off my face, I feel like I am crying out dollar bills.

I have a bit going on this week.  Lots of good.  And you know that is awesome, but it is none the less overwhelming.  Life can just be, well, too much.  Not all bad, not all good, just muchy muchness.  And that is hard to deal with (some days).

I try and put on my best foot (literally, 50 pairs on shoes in my closet) forward.  Make the best of things.  When I feel like shit, an amazing outfit comes dancing out of my closet and much like Cinderella when she was turned from a servant into a princess, yeah that is EXACTLY what happens with me, mice present and all.

I have learned that breathing is important (no shit, right?) but it is the deep breathing, the really feeling it down to your toes.  Dropping your shoulders, counting, feeling, connecting.  And this is great, but gosh I struggle with it, especially when I am crying, and there’s snot and tissues flying up in the air and quivering sticky outy lips, you know the drill.

So, what I am trying to say is that I just want to cry today.  I do not have a real reason, but I want to lay in my bed and just cry.  Like expelling toxic liquid from my body.  I do not want the red face, the puffy eyes and the rest of the crap that comes with crying for extended periods of time, but I just want to cry.

 

4 thoughts on “Shedding Tears”

  1. I hope you will not be offended but I would like to share a Bible verse about tears.
    Psalms 56:8 (NLT) You keep track of all my sorrows.
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.
    So, the next time you shed tears think about how a loving God collects your tears.
    Will be thinking of you!

    Liked by 2 people

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