Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Bumpy Landings

anonymous person with miniature airplane on chalkboard
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I have embarked on a number of trips via airplane.  For me, there is a considerable amount of stress that is part of the travel process.  The confined space on the plane, the people sitting so close, and the fear if they will they have enough coffee?  These are all things I worry over.

Some flights are flawless, some are bumpy.  You flip a coin and you get what you get.

More often than naught, I have been on flights where there have been bumpy landings.  I wonder if the plane will stop in time or if we are going off the landing pad, no it is actually called a runway, but I like landing pad, so let’s go with that.

 

In life there are bumpy landings as well.  I have been experiencing one as I am coming down from a four weeklong bipolar rapid cycle episode.  To say that the last four weeks has been a rocky road (not like the ice cream, that would be delicious), would be an understatement.  I have been up, I have been down, I have cried, it has moved me Bob.  It has been a while since I have had this type of intensity in an episode, which made this go around all the more challenging.

Now that I am on the bottom end of the cycle, I am dealing with intense irritability.  This sucks, but in the same light it is a good thing.  A good thing because that means that I am almost back to stable (pending there is not a dip into depression).

The depression that typically accompanies the ending of a rapid cycle for me is horrible.  My heart aches just thinking about the previous times that I have gone through this process.  It was hard, strenuous, and basically equivalent to gnashing of teeth.  I dread to think that this could be on the horizon.

 

Bumpy landings happen.  We get tossed around like a rag doll, BUT we are belted in and we ARE safe.  The plane will stop, and we will deboard (unboard, leave the tunnel of metal).  I am preparing for a bumpy landing.  If it happens, it will happen, and I WILL make it through it.  If the landing is smooth like eggs, then I prepared for something that never happened.

Bumpy landing, soft landing, either way, I have got this!

5 thoughts on “Bumpy Landings”

  1. Bear in mind we are always learning always getting better & so it stands to reason this is the best day ever & it will only get better. Our almighty creator doesn’t want you to feel depressed you truly don’t deserve to feel any less than amazing you are doing your best & that is good enough. We are always fine tuning. You are an absolute asset.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy to deliver what you deserve remember if someone doesn’t appreciate you that’s their problem not yours you are truly fit for purpose & further establishing love all the time I’m so proud of you

    Like

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