Sit with me

This week has been a long week.  A Santa’s length scroll of doctor appointments in addition to work and home life.  Most days I am up before the sun and use this time to craft which makes for a long day.  While crafting, I am sewing cloth masks for those that are in need and do not have access to masks, as well as friends and family.

Yesterday, was my weekly trip to the pharmacy, and it really pushed me to my breaking point.  It was the first time filling the new prescription (which thank the heavens is working and working well).  I stood in line (six feet apart) and when it was my turn, the total was presented, and I nearly hit the floor.  It was several hundred dollars, and this was WITH my insurance.

Picking myself up off the floor, I paid for my prescription, completed my shopping but I was moping and shuffling my feet.  How could something so little cost so much?  Why does that one thing that is working put me in a financial straight?  Oh whoa is me, I have bipolar and take medication to maintain and manage it.

When I got to my car and disinfected everything but my teeth, I texted my spouse and let him know about the cost of the prescription and that I was overwhelmed, sad and angry all at the same time.  I let him know when I got home, I just wanted to hide.  He suggested that hiding may not be the best of options (my interpretation of what he said) and I made an ugly face at the phone.  I knew he was right, but I really wanted to hide.

Upon arrival home I was greeted with love.  I shared with my kids that I was feeling sad due to an unexpected cost incurred at the pharmacy and would be spending some time in the sewing room to decompress/hide.

Within the first ten minutes of being home, I shared my whoas, changed my clothes, got a bear hug from my spouse, and headed to the craft room.

The funny thing is that I was followed.  One of my children grabbed a book and went with me to the sewing room.  They sat quietly in the chair in the corner and read.

I was not alone.  I had support, even though there was little conversating, I was being consoled.  It was the most glorious thing there is.

Often, I overlook the way that people show their love.  Whether it is silently sitting while you sew, making you a painting of a beautiful flower or embracing you in a warm, firm hug.

There is also a person on the other end of the phone listening to you cry and at the right time calling you out on your shirt tails.  Including, friends that send a “how are yah?” text or those that tag you on a post on social media.

People show love and concern in diverse ways.  Just because it may be different than what we may “want” at the time, does not mean it is not what we need.

I am opening my eyes to reality.  I am seeing things for what they are.  Small or big.  Everything is a gift.