What would I do without my to do list? Whether it is scratched out on a note pad, on a lined legal pad or typed in my phone.
No major surprise but I would be lost, aimlessly wondering, staring at my computer screen blankly.
Over the last number of years I seem to have lost my capacity to remember things like I used to. Short term and long-term memories can be a blur at times. This memory loss drives me bonkers.
I remember how I used to be, prior to all the meds, and I long to be that way again, the memory not the insanity part.
I have figured out ways to politely ask for information to be reiterated. “Would you please remind me the details of the meeting?” “I don’t believe I heard clearly; would you please repeat that for me?” Uncomplicated ways to say, “I totally forgot” without actually saying it.
In my position as an executive assistant, it is a real challenge because part of my job is to remember things. I have learned how to use my resources (computer, calendar, notebooks) to make sure that I am staying on top of things.
Then you throw in ADHD and I feel like I am drowning. I have learned ways around this too. I focus on literally every word that is said and jot down what I feel is important. If I do not take notes during a meeting, I may have not been there because my brain was on a beach with a cold glass of water in my hand.
I am learning how to adjust (it has only taken me some five years), but now is better than never. There are days, especially when I do not sleep well, that my brain is mush. This is quite infuriating to me. But I have to love myself the way I would love another person, be kind and compassionate and look at the whole picture. I did not sleep. Therefore my brain did not rest and can not operate fully. It is one day (or 5) and I will get past this.
The art of compromise I am finding is the true gift. Kindness and compassion. And taking notes, copious notes. Plus, being thankful when you can finally type again.