Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Worst Bad Days

In 2016 I thought that I had the worst of bad days when I was going through this rough patch diagnosed as severe rapid cycling bi polar with psychosis post-hysterectomy. 

How could that be what’s “wrong” with me? I don’t have mental illness. “I’m fine”. 
It was the worst of bad days.  Followed by many, many worst bad days.

More worst of bad days came and I found that I had to keep slowing down. For so long I had been so wound tight that there was no room for rest of relaxation. There was just go go go and my brain was in hyper drive.  Constantly moving and doing (I still fall victim to this today).

The diagnosis of the mental breakdown taught me to slow down. Stop, breathe. Take in the sights, smell a flower. Enjoy an afternoon nap. Just sit on the couch. 

I still go through the worst bad days but now I know them to be temporary. They will pass and there will be sunshine. But it took going through a lot of worst bad days to get to the point where I believed this in my heart. That it became part of me, part of my soul. 

1 thought on “Worst Bad Days”

  1. I was deemed like you to have bipolar disorder. The definition of disorder is confused. The irony is neither of us is confused. A friend of mine was diagnosed bipolar mentally ill & she committed suicide. If I would have known how much she was struggling I would have been there for her. The fact is you can’t doubt someone’s reality & class them as mentally ill. Considering you have dealt with things remarkably well. Instead of medicating the manic it would be far more favourable to learn from we get pumped up for a reason. I have been sectioned four times & have to walk a tightrope fortunately I have setup a bouncy castle underneath & ideally I don’t have to work for money which is the biggest problem this planet faces. The way I look it at is God provides all time & resources for free & that by adding a price tag ruins any decent sentiment we are a one world family so who in the right mind trys to turn a profit out of that? Money ascends to infinite so you will never achieve satisfaction in that area. Does that make sense? Are you happy to tell me more about when you were manic? I support you all the way you are more valuable then you can imagine. Look forward to your response & future posts.x

    Liked by 1 person

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