Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery

Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

Do you remember the game, Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?  It’s from back in the 90’s and it was my favorite.  Maybe second favorite to Oregon Trail, but I always seemed to die from dysentery in that game, and there was no dying in Carmen San Diego, so that is probably why… Continue reading Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, therapy, Uncategorized

A Babbles Babble

I have so many thoughts, and they are not flowing in any semblance of order today.  There is no rhyme or reason to what is coming to my mind.  It is kind of like a popcorn machine making a batch.  Here is an idea, there is another, and then a third.  Nothing brings them together,… Continue reading A Babbles Babble

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, therapy

Growth

Photo by Alena Koval on Pexels.com I have been thinking, a lot.  Like all the time, very much so stuck in my head. I have seen a continued improvement in my mood and overall composure, but still very much so stuck in my head.  I am learning more about mindfulness and am working to apply… Continue reading Growth

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Resurfacing

I have been in seclusion and it has been sometime since I have created a blog entry.  The ability to write was not present as I was facing trials and tribulations.  There just was not bandwidth to write.  Plus, for once in my life, I had nothing to say. I am not going to go… Continue reading Resurfacing

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Worst Bad Days

In 2016 I thought that I had the worst of bad days when I was going through this rough patch diagnosed as severe rapid cycling bi polar with psychosis post-hysterectomy.  How could that be what’s “wrong” with me? I don’t have mental illness. “I’m fine”. It was the worst of bad days.  Followed by many, many… Continue reading Worst Bad Days

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Keep Going

I often feel like my boot is stuck in the mud. I can’t seem to wiggle it free so I stand there. I usually start to cry. I know I can step out of my boot and be free, muddy but free, but I want my boot, both of them and I want to be… Continue reading Keep Going

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery

I am not ready…

I am not ready. Not ready for a slew of things. Whether it’s getting up, showered, and dressed (good ole depression) or heading into work sitting in traffic and actually working. I am not ready to get older or for my kids to grow up (more). Im not ready to have relationships change even for… Continue reading I am not ready…

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

A broken arm

Photo by ThisIsEngineering on Pexels.com Let’s say I was roller blading (which anyone my age should NOT do) and I fell.  I ran into a trashcan and I flipped and landed on my arm.  It snapped, just like a wishbone. Should this have happened I would go to the hospital and I would get it… Continue reading A broken arm

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

SittingWaiting LookingAnticipating  The anxiety that ensues when you are waiting to see a doctor. A new doctor mind you. A proclaimed expert doctor. A doctor that may be able to tell you something new or the same as what you’ve heard before. Time and time again. It’s the wondering. The thinking of who is this person. Do… Continue reading Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery

To Do Lists

What would I do without my to do list?  Whether it is scratched out on a note pad, on a lined legal pad or typed in my phone.  Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com No major surprise but I would be lost, aimlessly wondering, staring at my computer screen blankly. Over the last number of years… Continue reading To Do Lists