Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

Signs of Depression

You know depression is settling in when: You feel the weight of the air on your body. That lukewarm tired feeling, like having a low-grade fever. Feeling bad enough to not feel like yourself but not bad enough to call in sick from work. Experiencing the feeling of sadness but being unable to cry. Looking… Continue reading Signs of Depression

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

Blank Pages

I sit and stare at a blank page. Thoughts dash through my head, darting left and right, up and down. With all that’s going through my head one would think that I would be more than capable of transposing the combination of letters into sentences down on paper. But alas, the page is blank. I… Continue reading Blank Pages

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

When Depression Hits

It’s been sneaking up, slow and steady like a mouse strategically hunting for a piece of cheese.  Or a predator going after a fast-moving prey.  But before I knew it, I was overcome by the gloom.  Although fighting it hard, at this point, I have little to no fight left in me.  The weight and… Continue reading When Depression Hits

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

Mania: The Blanket Monster

They sit on the floor of her bedroom, over by the corner of the bed.  There’s a blanket over her head and she is crying.  It has been another poor day.  Another day of unexplained moodiness and temper tantrums.  She describes it as feeling the emotions come up from her toes and then burst out… Continue reading Mania: The Blanket Monster

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Cupcakes After Dark

The room is dark.  The cat is in his place on the floor at the foot of the bed.  The sound machine fills the room with the sound of a glorious rain storm.  I face my partner and I mention that I was not tired.  I shared that I was thinking of all the things… Continue reading Cupcakes After Dark

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

  In 1982 a movie called Annie was released.  It was about a little red headed girl, Annie, who lives in an orphanage.  There was a song that she sang while in the orphanage that would help her on the days where she was feeling down.  Below are some of the lyrics: The sun'll come… Continue reading The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Medical Withdrawal

Friday afternoon I sat on the couch that was opposite my doctor.  She looked at my file (large, filled with numerous pages depicting my numerous visits).  She looked up and said, if you are back this soon, something must not be going very well.  I sighed (I hate sighing, I hate when others sigh, but… Continue reading Medical Withdrawal