Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Worst Bad Days

In 2016 I thought that I had the worst of bad days when I was going through this rough patch diagnosed as severe rapid cycling bi polar with psychosis post-hysterectomy.  How could that be what’s “wrong” with me? I don’t have mental illness. “I’m fine”. It was the worst of bad days.  Followed by many, many… Continue reading Worst Bad Days

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

A broken arm

Photo by ThisIsEngineering on Pexels.com Let’s say I was roller blading (which anyone my age should NOT do) and I fell.  I ran into a trashcan and I flipped and landed on my arm.  It snapped, just like a wishbone. Should this have happened I would go to the hospital and I would get it… Continue reading A broken arm

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

SittingWaiting LookingAnticipating  The anxiety that ensues when you are waiting to see a doctor. A new doctor mind you. A proclaimed expert doctor. A doctor that may be able to tell you something new or the same as what you’ve heard before. Time and time again. It’s the wondering. The thinking of who is this person. Do… Continue reading Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Manic Babbles

I have started three blogs so far today: One blog consisted of Kacey Musgrave lyrics, another one talked about snakes sloughing off their skin.  And the third talked about anxiety being a large dark monster that is engulfing me. As I keep writing, the words are going everywhere, this way and that way, all zig… Continue reading Manic Babbles

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Rapid Cycling Bipolar

Rapid Cycling Bipolar I find to be peculiar. One part of a day, I am so exhausted I feel like I have cement boots on and can hardly walk. Then other parts of the day I want to make 1,000 cloth face masks while making cupcakes. The end of last year I was in treatment… Continue reading Rapid Cycling Bipolar

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Friday Babbles: A Dry Well

There are many times that I have much to say but don’t end up writing. I stop myself from typing because what I have to say is not uplifting and edifying and I fear that I will not be a positive influence on others and therefore what I want to write should not be published.… Continue reading Friday Babbles: A Dry Well

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Hidden Blessings

This weekend I spent time doing numerous things: I napped (gloriousness, I tell you, pure heaven) I went to the gym (Not quite gloriousness, but a good experience that made me feel proud of my accomplishment) Tidying up parts of my home (again felt pride and accomplishment for getting things done off my to do… Continue reading Hidden Blessings

Bipolar Disorder, hiking, Uncategorized

A Memorial Hike

Five years ago today, I lost a mentor and friend of mine to cancer. It was a hard loss.  She was young, and so was I. A lot went down when she passed, and I think that made things extra hard.  I was grieving a lot more than just her, but some innocence too. It… Continue reading A Memorial Hike

Bipolar Disorder, recovery, Uncategorized

Blanket Monsters

When I was young, and I could not face the world, I would go to my room and I would hide beneath my blanket, sitting on my floor, with my blanket pulled over my head.  In my head, no one could see me, I was safe, and I was in my own world, numb to… Continue reading Blanket Monsters

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Sandcastles

I remember as a child going to the ocean.  Packing the car, so snug we could barely move, everything we needed, and only what we needed, for a week’s vacation, in a small compact sedan for a family of five to make a 3-hour drive to the coast.  I personally dreaded the drive, squeezed in… Continue reading Sandcastles