Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Worst Bad Days

In 2016 I thought that I had the worst of bad days when I was going through this rough patch diagnosed as severe rapid cycling bi polar with psychosis post-hysterectomy.  How could that be what’s “wrong” with me? I don’t have mental illness. “I’m fine”. It was the worst of bad days.  Followed by many, many… Continue reading Worst Bad Days

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Keep Going

I often feel like my boot is stuck in the mud. I can’t seem to wiggle it free so I stand there. I usually start to cry. I know I can step out of my boot and be free, muddy but free, but I want my boot, both of them and I want to be… Continue reading Keep Going

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery

I am not ready…

I am not ready. Not ready for a slew of things. Whether it’s getting up, showered, and dressed (good ole depression) or heading into work sitting in traffic and actually working. I am not ready to get older or for my kids to grow up (more). Im not ready to have relationships change even for… Continue reading I am not ready…

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

A broken arm

Photo by ThisIsEngineering on Pexels.com Let’s say I was roller blading (which anyone my age should NOT do) and I fell.  I ran into a trashcan and I flipped and landed on my arm.  It snapped, just like a wishbone. Should this have happened I would go to the hospital and I would get it… Continue reading A broken arm

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

SittingWaiting LookingAnticipating  The anxiety that ensues when you are waiting to see a doctor. A new doctor mind you. A proclaimed expert doctor. A doctor that may be able to tell you something new or the same as what you’ve heard before. Time and time again. It’s the wondering. The thinking of who is this person. Do… Continue reading Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

It takes a village

Life with a mental illness is challenging.  Not only for the person who has the diagnosis, but for those that love that person. Last night after work, I was in my sewing room (of course) and I had company (which was pretty awesome).  A question was asked about dinner, preparation and what should be done… Continue reading It takes a village

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

The Red Queen

The Red Queen from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is quite known for exclaiming “Off with their head(s)!”  She had quite the temper, took it out on everyone and everything around her. Today, I feel like the Red Queen.  I want to walk through the office building yelling “Off with your head!” to each and every… Continue reading The Red Queen

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Bumpy Landings

I have embarked on a number of trips via airplane.  For me, there is a considerable amount of stress that is part of the travel process.  The confined space on the plane, the people sitting so close, and the fear if they will they have enough coffee?  These are all things I worry over. Some… Continue reading Bumpy Landings

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Shedding Tears

Have you had the days when you just cannot keep tears from streaming down your face?  The harder you try, the more tears end up running away from your eyes as if they are being chased by a big, giant, ugly monster with bad breath. I am having that kind of a week (and it… Continue reading Shedding Tears

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Giving Yourself Credit

  There are times when we need to stop and give ourselves credit.  Let me rephrase that, there are times that I need to stop and give myself credit. I am going to say it, I am doing a hell of an excellent job, as are you. Often, I find that I set unrealistic expectations… Continue reading Giving Yourself Credit