Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

One Pill, Two Pill, Red Pill, Zombie

I stare at the computer screen. My mind is blank. The lack of racing thoughts is a delight, quite a nice little present, given to me in a pink polka dotted wrapped box with a coordinating bow. This is what we were going for, right?  To have the anxiety, racing irrational thoughts, and paranoia to… Continue reading One Pill, Two Pill, Red Pill, Zombie

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

Pulling Myself Up By My Bootstraps

I leave the psychiatrist office and tears are streaming down my face, again. I have numerous mixed emotions.  Frustration, defeat, sadness, anger… and the good ole “why is this happening to me?” running through my mind…   I am well into a full month of a mixed episode, and the changes we have made to… Continue reading Pulling Myself Up By My Bootstraps

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

Think, Think, Think…

I sit in the front room of an empty office at the community table, alone.  It was a collaboration day, some of my favorite work days.  Gathering together with a group of insanely intelligent individuals to  talk about our project and brainstorm. However, today I struggled to focus.  It was my vibrating hand.  Shaking in… Continue reading Think, Think, Think…

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Chasing Rabbits

In the book, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Alice follows a rabbit down a rabbit hole and discovers a whole new world, one where impossible things are possible, flowers talk, and tea parties are actually entertaining.  It’s one of my favorite books.  And it’s a favorite because I can completely relate to Alice’s character.  She is… Continue reading Chasing Rabbits

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

The Doctor Will See You Now

It had been six weeks since I saw my doctor last, the longest I have gone without seeing my psychiatrist in the past.  Everything had been going ok during the time between visits until it wasn’t ok.  And it was the instability that I had experienced in the previous weeks that had me worried about… Continue reading The Doctor Will See You Now

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Sunday Funday

I received a gentle nudge on my exposed shoulder.  It seemed like I had just fallen asleep, so this must be a dream.  But alas, it was not.  It was precisely 6:06 AM and it was time to rise and shine.  Not being a morning person, the six o’clock hour does not usually come with… Continue reading Sunday Funday

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

Fighting Depression

After sleeping some 13 hours (yes you are reading that correctly) from Friday into Saturday morning, I was determined that I was going to take an assertive attack on the depression that was lurking over my head like a dark cloud.  It was during the consumption of a cup of coffee that I devised my… Continue reading Fighting Depression