Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Keep Going

I often feel like my boot is stuck in the mud. I can’t seem to wiggle it free so I stand there. I usually start to cry. I know I can step out of my boot and be free, muddy but free, but I want my boot, both of them and I want to be… Continue reading Keep Going

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery

I am not ready…

I am not ready. Not ready for a slew of things. Whether it’s getting up, showered, and dressed (good ole depression) or heading into work sitting in traffic and actually working. I am not ready to get older or for my kids to grow up (more). Im not ready to have relationships change even for… Continue reading I am not ready…

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

A broken arm

Photo by ThisIsEngineering on Pexels.com Let’s say I was roller blading (which anyone my age should NOT do) and I fell.  I ran into a trashcan and I flipped and landed on my arm.  It snapped, just like a wishbone. Should this have happened I would go to the hospital and I would get it… Continue reading A broken arm

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

SittingWaiting LookingAnticipating  The anxiety that ensues when you are waiting to see a doctor. A new doctor mind you. A proclaimed expert doctor. A doctor that may be able to tell you something new or the same as what you’ve heard before. Time and time again. It’s the wondering. The thinking of who is this person. Do… Continue reading Sitting Waiting Looking Anticipating

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

It’s my party, I’ll cry if I want to

There are days when I feel some people do not get it.  It being a variety of things.  Mental illness, chronic pain, grieving? Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com There are days (like today) where I just need to or want to cry, because there are no other emotions that fit how I am feeling.  I… Continue reading It’s my party, I’ll cry if I want to

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery

Day 44: Days Explained

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com It has been a few posts since I did “the countdown” … the “countdown” that I never explained (or have I forgotten ?!?) It is day 44 since the breakdown that started this here spiral into rapid cycling that has tried (yes, tried being the most important word) to ruin… Continue reading Day 44: Days Explained

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Sleepless in the Desert

There is this movie called Sleepless in Seattle, with two people who have some kind of a relationship and I think it has to do with not sleeping, hence what the title implies.  However, I really have no clue because I have not seen the movie.  Oh is Meg Ryan in that one?  Tom Hanks? … Continue reading Sleepless in the Desert

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Pokoj aka Polish Peace

Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com I am tired. Yet I am awake. I feel beat up. But in the same regard, I feel empowered. It is pretty mind blowing to be able to be in two places at once, oh like, let us say, rapid cycling?  Being up and down at the same time,… Continue reading Pokoj aka Polish Peace

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Love is patient

I have written about love in the past, but it has been heavy on my heart to write about it again. I do not know where I fall on the religious spectrum.  I was raised in a Christian household and primarily in the Southern Baptist Church.  There were many good years spent at this place… Continue reading Love is patient