Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Figuring Things Out

I get excited when I figure things out.  This stretches from small, little, non important things and then spans to grand things. Getting in Gear Yesterday I used the saying “I need to get my butt in gear” and it hit me like a pile of bricks to the head, that I knew what that… Continue reading Figuring Things Out

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

One Day at a Time

It’s been heavy on my mind (and heart) the idea of “one day at a time”.  In so many aspects of our world, things happen one day at a time.  In each given day things progress, either forward or backward, but it happens (mostly) at an incremental pace. I am not, by nature, a patient… Continue reading One Day at a Time

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Not Getting What I Want

While surfing through the many, many, many pages of Pinterest I came across this quote from the Dalai Lama. “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” I stopped scrolling.  I just stared at the screen and then my chin fell off my hand and I had to catch… Continue reading Not Getting What I Want

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

One Pill, Two Pill, Red Pill, Zombie

I stare at the computer screen. My mind is blank. The lack of racing thoughts is a delight, quite a nice little present, given to me in a pink polka dotted wrapped box with a coordinating bow. This is what we were going for, right?  To have the anxiety, racing irrational thoughts, and paranoia to… Continue reading One Pill, Two Pill, Red Pill, Zombie

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

Pulling Myself Up By My Bootstraps

I leave the psychiatrist office and tears are streaming down my face, again. I have numerous mixed emotions.  Frustration, defeat, sadness, anger… and the good ole “why is this happening to me?” running through my mind…   I am well into a full month of a mixed episode, and the changes we have made to… Continue reading Pulling Myself Up By My Bootstraps

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Medical Withdrawal

Friday afternoon I sat on the couch that was opposite my doctor.  She looked at my file (large, filled with numerous pages depicting my numerous visits).  She looked up and said, if you are back this soon, something must not be going very well.  I sighed (I hate sighing, I hate when others sigh, but… Continue reading Medical Withdrawal

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Chasing Rabbits

In the book, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Alice follows a rabbit down a rabbit hole and discovers a whole new world, one where impossible things are possible, flowers talk, and tea parties are actually entertaining.  It’s one of my favorite books.  And it’s a favorite because I can completely relate to Alice’s character.  She is… Continue reading Chasing Rabbits