Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, recovery, Uncategorized

Anti-Anxiety Cat Napping Music Swaying

After a long weekend of embracing my inner cat (sleeping, napping, and sleeping some more), it is back to the work week and being human which consists of wearing form fitting clothes, a for-real bra, and make-up.  Every part of me thinks that the weekend went by too quickly and my inner cat still wants… Continue reading Anti-Anxiety Cat Napping Music Swaying

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

A Vacation Away

A week ago, at the early hour of 6 AM we left the desert to head to the Pacific Northwest for a respite from the heat of the desert and returned home yesterday evening.  A full week away.  The weather while away was divine, the views were picturesque and my family had what seemed to… Continue reading A Vacation Away

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

When Symptoms Return: Anxiety

  This weekend was one where I did not have anything that was set in stone as far as activities go.  After several weeks of having one thing after another planned, it was a weekend where my partner and I looked at each other and said, “What do you want to do?” And we just… Continue reading When Symptoms Return: Anxiety

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Bears, Bananas and Batman

It was a mere weeks ago that I was having problems with leaving the house due to the high levels of anxiety that was looping through my head.  The fears of what could happen and what would I do if X and Y would happen, made it more than just a struggle to step out… Continue reading Bears, Bananas and Batman

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life

Nightly Routine: Medication

I take my medication at night. Its part of my routine. I open the glass cabinet door and I take a deep breath. I start from the far right of the shelf and I work my way down.  One pill onto the next.  Take two then a sip of water.  Another two, then another sip… Continue reading Nightly Routine: Medication

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Bella’s Babbles: Friday Edition 2/15/19

The day is nearly over and I have yet to write my weekly babble, golly gee bob willigers, what is going on?  I took the day as a personal day and have done very little work today.  The family had a few appointments today and with the way they were spaced out it made sense… Continue reading Bella’s Babbles: Friday Edition 2/15/19

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

A Letter to My Anxiety

Dear Anxiety, I feel like you are a part of me, like a freckle on my skin that is affixed to me in a permanent way.  I feel like I will never be without you and that you at times, in the dark of the night, you multiply exponentially and are trying to take over… Continue reading A Letter to My Anxiety

Bipolar Disorder, endometriosis, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

The Spawn of Satan

A spawn is defined as the following “the product or offspring of a person or place (used to express distaste or disgust)” by dictionary.com.  This definition will come in handy as you continue to read this blog.  As discussed in previous blogs, I have never had a child.  Therefore, I do not have any spawn,… Continue reading The Spawn of Satan

Bipolar Disorder, Uncategorized

Think, Think, Think…

I sit in the front room of an empty office at the community table, alone.  It was a collaboration day, some of my favorite work days.  Gathering together with a group of insanely intelligent individuals to  talk about our project and brainstorm. However, today I struggled to focus.  It was my vibrating hand.  Shaking in… Continue reading Think, Think, Think…

Bipolar Disorder, Everyday Life, Uncategorized

Medical Withdrawal

Friday afternoon I sat on the couch that was opposite my doctor.  She looked at my file (large, filled with numerous pages depicting my numerous visits).  She looked up and said, if you are back this soon, something must not be going very well.  I sighed (I hate sighing, I hate when others sigh, but… Continue reading Medical Withdrawal